Joke of the Millenium

The European Union commissioners have announced
That agreement has been reached to use English as the preffered language for European communities,
Rather than German,which was the other possibility.As part of the negotiation,Her Majesty’s Government conceded that English spellings have some room for improvement and has accepted a five year phased plan for what will be known as EuroEnglish(Euro for short).
In the first year,’S’ will be used instead of soft ‘C’.Sertainly sivil servants will receive this news with joy.Also the hard ‘C’ will be replased with ‘K’.Not only will this klear up konfusion but typewriters kan have one letter less.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the second year,when the troublesome ‘ph’ will be replased by ‘f’.This will make words like ‘fotograf’ 20 persent shorter.In the third year publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expected to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.Governments will enkourage the removal of ,which have always ben a deterent to alurate speling.Also al wil agre that the horrible mes of silent ‘e’s in the language is disgrasful,and they would go.
By the fourth year,people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing ‘th’ with ‘z’ and ‘w’ by ‘v’.
During ze fifz year,ze unesesary ‘o’ kan be dropd from vords containing ‘ou’,and similar changes vud of kors,be aplid to ozer kombinatios of leters.After zis fifz yer,ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl.Zer vil b no mor trubls or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech ozer.Ze drem vil finali kum tru.