Who said English is easy? Fill these blanks with a Yes or No.....
1._______________ I don't have a brain.
2._______________ I don't have sense.
3.______________ I am stupid.
All the best...
Friday, May 2, 2008
Be Deaf to Negativity
Once upon a time there was a bunch of tiny frogs....
who arranged a running competition.
The goal was to reach the top of a very high tower.
A big crowd had gathered around the tower to see the race
and cheer on the contestants. ...
The race began....
Honestly:
No one in crowd really believed that the tiny frogs would reach the top of the tower.
You heard statements such as:
"Oh, WAY too difficult!!"
"They will NEVER make it to the top."
or:
"Not a chance that they will succeed. The tower is too high!"
The tiny frogs began collapsing. One by one.
Except for those, who in a fresh tempo, were climbing higher and higher....
The crowd continued to yell, "It is too difficult!!! No one will make it!"
More tiny frogs got tired and gave up....
But ONE continued higher and higher and higher....
This one wouldn't give up!
At the end everyone else had given up climbing the tower. Except for the one tiny frog who, after a big effort, was the only one who reached the top!
THEN all of the other tiny frogs naturally wanted to know how this one frog managed to do it?
A contestant asked the tiny frog how he had found the strength to succeed and reach the goal?
It turned out....
That the winner was DEAF!!!!
The wisdom of this story is:
Never listen to other people's tendencies to be negative or pessimistic. ...
because they take your most wonderful dreams and wishes away from you -- the ones you have in your heart!
Always think of the power words have.
Because everything you hear and read will affect your actions!
Therefore:
ALWAYS be.... POSITIVE!
And above all:
Be DEAF when people tell YOU that you cannot fulfill your dreams!
Always think:
God and I can do this!
MANY SMILES BEGIN BECAUSE OF ANOTHER SMILE...
who arranged a running competition.
The goal was to reach the top of a very high tower.
A big crowd had gathered around the tower to see the race
and cheer on the contestants. ...
The race began....
Honestly:
No one in crowd really believed that the tiny frogs would reach the top of the tower.
You heard statements such as:
"Oh, WAY too difficult!!"
"They will NEVER make it to the top."
or:
"Not a chance that they will succeed. The tower is too high!"
The tiny frogs began collapsing. One by one.
Except for those, who in a fresh tempo, were climbing higher and higher....
The crowd continued to yell, "It is too difficult!!! No one will make it!"
More tiny frogs got tired and gave up....
But ONE continued higher and higher and higher....
This one wouldn't give up!
At the end everyone else had given up climbing the tower. Except for the one tiny frog who, after a big effort, was the only one who reached the top!
THEN all of the other tiny frogs naturally wanted to know how this one frog managed to do it?
A contestant asked the tiny frog how he had found the strength to succeed and reach the goal?
It turned out....
That the winner was DEAF!!!!
The wisdom of this story is:
Never listen to other people's tendencies to be negative or pessimistic. ...
because they take your most wonderful dreams and wishes away from you -- the ones you have in your heart!
Always think of the power words have.
Because everything you hear and read will affect your actions!
Therefore:
ALWAYS be.... POSITIVE!
And above all:
Be DEAF when people tell YOU that you cannot fulfill your dreams!
Always think:
God and I can do this!
MANY SMILES BEGIN BECAUSE OF ANOTHER SMILE...
3 Keys To A Happy Marriage
1. Be thankful. It all starts with attitude. If you don't stay on the positiveside, failure is inevitable. You cannot have a happy marriagewithout happy people. Have you noticed that unthankful peopleare never happy?
2. Express your appreciation. Let your spouse know by word and deed that you appreciate them.Be specific and lavish in your praise and thanks. Nothingencourages people like encouragement.People love people who love them. If you want your spouse tolove you, the best thing you can do is love them, and let themknow it.
3. Aim to please. If you make them happy, you will be happy. True happiness isnever found in trying to please ourselves. Fulfillment comesfrom accomplishment, and the greatest accomplishment is helpingsomeone else in their life.
2. Express your appreciation. Let your spouse know by word and deed that you appreciate them.Be specific and lavish in your praise and thanks. Nothingencourages people like encouragement.People love people who love them. If you want your spouse tolove you, the best thing you can do is love them, and let themknow it.
3. Aim to please. If you make them happy, you will be happy. True happiness isnever found in trying to please ourselves. Fulfillment comesfrom accomplishment, and the greatest accomplishment is helpingsomeone else in their life.
Pregnancy Myths
Pregnancy is that special time in a woman's life, when she gets special attention from everyone. Even strangers on the road sometimes stop to enquire, "Which month?"
To add to that, we Indians have a special penchant for both speculation and superstition. "Hmmm, your tummy has not gotten that large, so...", "Your face is glowing, you will definitely have a..." -- the list of myths is endless.
Here, in random order, are some popular pregnancy beliefs:
Myth no 1: The shape and size of your belly can indicate your baby's gender.
Expert opinion: It is believed that a woman carrying a boy has a low belly, while a woman carrying a girl has a high belly. Some also say that women with small, round bellies are carrying a boy, while those with large bellies are carrying a girl. Gynaecologists on the other hand, say that the shape of your belly is determined by the original shape of your abdomen, the amount and distribution of the fat, the strength of the abdominal muscles, the number of babies conceived, the presentation and the position of the baby. In India, it is not legal to determine the sex of your baby beforehand. Hence, myths like these get a lot of attention
Pregnant? Here's what you should eat
Myth no 2: The glow on your face indicates the sex of your baby.
Expert opinion: Some believe a glow on the face indicates you will deliver a baby girl, while a lack of any glow indicates you will deliver a boy. Most pregnant women start sporting a glowing face during the second trimester. That's when the morning sickness ends, the mother-to-be eats well, blood circulation improves and there is a general feeling of well being. It has nothing to do with the sex of the baby.
Myth no 3: Heartburn indicates that your baby will have lots of hair.
Expert opinion: Gynaecologists say that heartburn is a common pregnancy complaint. It is mainly because of reflux oesophagitis, during which the contents (food particles) of the stomach come back up the food-pipe. Due to the acidic nature of the content, it causes burning, which is commonly known as heartburn. A lot of women who deliver babies with thick hair experience practically no heartburn.
Myth no 4: When you're pregnant, you have to double your food intake, because you're eating for two.
Expert opinion: Gynaecologists pooh-poohs this idea. They say, "During pregnancy dietary demands definitely increase. The nutritional status of the mother is most important, however, as the baby is dependent on her for its supply of proteins, vitamins, and minerals. This does not mean that a pregnant woman should eat for two."
They suggests that a pregnant woman maintain a well-balanced, nutritious diet throughout her pregnancy. "She should eat small meals every two hours rather than two or three bulky portions a day. Eating in excess will only lead to increases in fat deposits," they say.
Myth no 5: Food cravings indicate that you are deficient in the nutrients that the specific food offers.
Expert opinion: Food cravings are food cravings. They do not indicate anything. Do not take cravings as an indicator that you are deficient in any nutrient. Your doctor will have more solid methods of finding nutritional deficiencies."
Myth no 6: Sex during pregnancy induces labour.
Expert opinion: Many women swear by this theory. Check any pregnancy website, and there are women who openly advocate it. Of course, there are those who say it didn't work for them also. This is not to say do not have sex. If you are physically fit throughout your pregnancy, there is no reason why you should stop. Doctors merely ask couples to be careful about the position they adopt so that it does not cause discomfort to the mother.
Myth no 7: Methods of delivery are hereditary.
Expert opinion: People believe that if a pregnant woman's mother had a Caesarian section, she is likely to have the same. So, if your family has a history of normal deliveries, you are lucky. Mode of delivery has nothing to do with heredity. It depends on the number of babies conceived, presentation, as well as the position of the baby, the mother's pelvic bone structure and conditions, if any, complicating the pregnancy. Doctors make every effort possible for a normal delivery. Cesarean sections are only performed when absolutely necessary.
Pregnant moms look pretty too
Myth no 8: You can't get pregnant as long as you are regularly breastfeeding your baby.
Expert opinion: Tell this to thousands of women who are now with their second child, while the older one is hardly a year of age, or less! Doctors advise to use some contraception to avoid an unwanted pregnancy. Breastfeeding is reliable only upto a certain period, about one-and-a-half months after the delivery. However, a woman can get pregnant even without getting the first menstrual cycle post-delivery, ie in lactational amenorrhea. There are many simple methods available for contraception. Choose the right one for yourself.
Myth no 9: Eating lots of ghee ensures you will have a normal and safe delivery.
Expert opinion: Your mother or mother-in-law probably says, "Ghee provides lubrication, therefore you must have lots of ghee to ensure a normal delivery."
While the medicinal value of ghee cannot be discounted, it is definitely not the elixir it is touted to be in this case.No one can a predict normal delivery, not even doctors. Eating a lot of ghee does not ensure normal delivery. A pregnant woman should eat a normal healthy diet, do some form of exercise to keep herself fit and healthy, and should have a positive mindset while going in for the delivery. Even relatives should boost her confidence, and not pressurise her with regard to a normal delivery.
She also adds that Cesarean sections are not something to shy away from. They are only performed to save the life of the baby, and avoid health complications in the mother.
Myth no 10: Avoid using a computer while pregnant; it can harm your baby's development.
Expert opinion: There is no evidence indicating that computers harm your baby's development. Of course, if you are working and are likely to use the computer for eight to 10 hours a day, you may face problems like backache. But that has no effect on your pregnancy.
To add to that, we Indians have a special penchant for both speculation and superstition. "Hmmm, your tummy has not gotten that large, so...", "Your face is glowing, you will definitely have a..." -- the list of myths is endless.
Here, in random order, are some popular pregnancy beliefs:
Myth no 1: The shape and size of your belly can indicate your baby's gender.
Expert opinion: It is believed that a woman carrying a boy has a low belly, while a woman carrying a girl has a high belly. Some also say that women with small, round bellies are carrying a boy, while those with large bellies are carrying a girl. Gynaecologists on the other hand, say that the shape of your belly is determined by the original shape of your abdomen, the amount and distribution of the fat, the strength of the abdominal muscles, the number of babies conceived, the presentation and the position of the baby. In India, it is not legal to determine the sex of your baby beforehand. Hence, myths like these get a lot of attention
Pregnant? Here's what you should eat
Myth no 2: The glow on your face indicates the sex of your baby.
Expert opinion: Some believe a glow on the face indicates you will deliver a baby girl, while a lack of any glow indicates you will deliver a boy. Most pregnant women start sporting a glowing face during the second trimester. That's when the morning sickness ends, the mother-to-be eats well, blood circulation improves and there is a general feeling of well being. It has nothing to do with the sex of the baby.
Myth no 3: Heartburn indicates that your baby will have lots of hair.
Expert opinion: Gynaecologists say that heartburn is a common pregnancy complaint. It is mainly because of reflux oesophagitis, during which the contents (food particles) of the stomach come back up the food-pipe. Due to the acidic nature of the content, it causes burning, which is commonly known as heartburn. A lot of women who deliver babies with thick hair experience practically no heartburn.
Myth no 4: When you're pregnant, you have to double your food intake, because you're eating for two.
Expert opinion: Gynaecologists pooh-poohs this idea. They say, "During pregnancy dietary demands definitely increase. The nutritional status of the mother is most important, however, as the baby is dependent on her for its supply of proteins, vitamins, and minerals. This does not mean that a pregnant woman should eat for two."
They suggests that a pregnant woman maintain a well-balanced, nutritious diet throughout her pregnancy. "She should eat small meals every two hours rather than two or three bulky portions a day. Eating in excess will only lead to increases in fat deposits," they say.
Myth no 5: Food cravings indicate that you are deficient in the nutrients that the specific food offers.
Expert opinion: Food cravings are food cravings. They do not indicate anything. Do not take cravings as an indicator that you are deficient in any nutrient. Your doctor will have more solid methods of finding nutritional deficiencies."
Myth no 6: Sex during pregnancy induces labour.
Expert opinion: Many women swear by this theory. Check any pregnancy website, and there are women who openly advocate it. Of course, there are those who say it didn't work for them also. This is not to say do not have sex. If you are physically fit throughout your pregnancy, there is no reason why you should stop. Doctors merely ask couples to be careful about the position they adopt so that it does not cause discomfort to the mother.
Myth no 7: Methods of delivery are hereditary.
Expert opinion: People believe that if a pregnant woman's mother had a Caesarian section, she is likely to have the same. So, if your family has a history of normal deliveries, you are lucky. Mode of delivery has nothing to do with heredity. It depends on the number of babies conceived, presentation, as well as the position of the baby, the mother's pelvic bone structure and conditions, if any, complicating the pregnancy. Doctors make every effort possible for a normal delivery. Cesarean sections are only performed when absolutely necessary.
Pregnant moms look pretty too
Myth no 8: You can't get pregnant as long as you are regularly breastfeeding your baby.
Expert opinion: Tell this to thousands of women who are now with their second child, while the older one is hardly a year of age, or less! Doctors advise to use some contraception to avoid an unwanted pregnancy. Breastfeeding is reliable only upto a certain period, about one-and-a-half months after the delivery. However, a woman can get pregnant even without getting the first menstrual cycle post-delivery, ie in lactational amenorrhea. There are many simple methods available for contraception. Choose the right one for yourself.
Myth no 9: Eating lots of ghee ensures you will have a normal and safe delivery.
Expert opinion: Your mother or mother-in-law probably says, "Ghee provides lubrication, therefore you must have lots of ghee to ensure a normal delivery."
While the medicinal value of ghee cannot be discounted, it is definitely not the elixir it is touted to be in this case.No one can a predict normal delivery, not even doctors. Eating a lot of ghee does not ensure normal delivery. A pregnant woman should eat a normal healthy diet, do some form of exercise to keep herself fit and healthy, and should have a positive mindset while going in for the delivery. Even relatives should boost her confidence, and not pressurise her with regard to a normal delivery.
She also adds that Cesarean sections are not something to shy away from. They are only performed to save the life of the baby, and avoid health complications in the mother.
Myth no 10: Avoid using a computer while pregnant; it can harm your baby's development.
Expert opinion: There is no evidence indicating that computers harm your baby's development. Of course, if you are working and are likely to use the computer for eight to 10 hours a day, you may face problems like backache. But that has no effect on your pregnancy.
Top 9 Funniest News paper Classifieds
Top 9 Funniest News paper Classifieds
(Actual excerpts from classified sections of city newspapers)
1. Illiterate? Write today for free help.
(man....if only I knew A B C....)
2. Auto Repair Service. Free pick-up and delivery. Try us once; you'll never go anywhere again.
(sure...thanx for the warning!)
3. 3-year old teacher needed for pre-school. Experience preferred.
(in months or years?)
4. Used Cars: Why go elsewhere to be cheated. Come here first.
(check it out)
5. Dog for sale: eats anything and is fond of children.
(howwww sweeeet)
6. Man wanted to work in dynamite factory. Must be willing to travel.
(wow! A free trip to heaven?)
7. Tired of cleaning yourself? Let me do it.
(uh...huh!)
8. Wanted. Man to take care of cow that does not smoke or drink.
(hey....who taught cows the bad habit??)
9. We do not tear your clothing with machinery. We do it carefully by hand.
(nice work!)
(Actual excerpts from classified sections of city newspapers)
1. Illiterate? Write today for free help.
(man....if only I knew A B C....)
2. Auto Repair Service. Free pick-up and delivery. Try us once; you'll never go anywhere again.
(sure...thanx for the warning!)
3. 3-year old teacher needed for pre-school. Experience preferred.
(in months or years?)
4. Used Cars: Why go elsewhere to be cheated. Come here first.
(check it out)
5. Dog for sale: eats anything and is fond of children.
(howwww sweeeet)
6. Man wanted to work in dynamite factory. Must be willing to travel.
(wow! A free trip to heaven?)
7. Tired of cleaning yourself? Let me do it.
(uh...huh!)
8. Wanted. Man to take care of cow that does not smoke or drink.
(hey....who taught cows the bad habit??)
9. We do not tear your clothing with machinery. We do it carefully by hand.
(nice work!)
Paradox
Few centuries ago, a Law teacher came across a student who was willing tolearn but as unable to pay the fees. The student struck a deal saying, "Iwill pay your fee the day I win my first case in the court". Teacher agreed andproceeded with the law course. When the course was finished and teacherstarted pestering the student to pay up the fee,the student reminded him ofthe deal and pushed days. Fed up with this, the teacher decided to sue thestudent in the court of law and both of them decided to argue forthemselves.
The teacher put forward his argument saying: "If I win this case, as perThe court of law, the student has to pay me as the case is about hisnon-payment of dues. And if I lose the case, student will still pay me because he wouldhave won his first case. So either way I will have to get the money".Equally brilliant student argued back saying: "If I win the case, as per the courtOf law, I don't have to pay anything to the teacher as the case is about mynon-payment of dues. And if I lose the case, I don't have to pay himbecause I haven't won my first case yet. So either way, I am not going to pay theteacher anything".
Nice paradox Right!!!!!!!!!!!
The teacher put forward his argument saying: "If I win this case, as perThe court of law, the student has to pay me as the case is about hisnon-payment of dues. And if I lose the case, student will still pay me because he wouldhave won his first case. So either way I will have to get the money".Equally brilliant student argued back saying: "If I win the case, as per the courtOf law, I don't have to pay anything to the teacher as the case is about mynon-payment of dues. And if I lose the case, I don't have to pay himbecause I haven't won my first case yet. So either way, I am not going to pay theteacher anything".
Nice paradox Right!!!!!!!!!!!
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